Aakrati

All heat no rain… Its been a dry hot summer. In last 20 years, it always rained this day. Its my B’day today….

Bachpan mein jab b’day waale din baarish hoti thi to main rota tha. Agar baarish ki wajah se log nahi aayenge to fir gifts kaise milenge… Hamesha sochta tha ki agar b’day ke din baarish na ho to kitna accha ho… Jyaada log aayenee aur jyaada gifts milenge.. But now jab baarish nahi hai to I realized that there is no one to attend my b’day….. God has great sense of Humour.

Anyways… all I have to say…

Thoda hai Thode ki zaroorat hai…
Zindagi phir bhi yahan khoobsurat hai….

There have been few ppl in my life who have represented the best of human traits. They symbolize Courage, Strength and Faith. I have worshipped them through and through. A single glimpse of them has motivated me in the lowest and darkest moments.
But now I can see them fall into pieces. All my faith and hopes are shattering… This is tough time for us. I just pray to God that we pass through it.

At times, I am an egoistic bastard who never gives up easily for anyone. But in course of my life I have granted, few ppl, a power to manipulate me (both in positive and negative sense).  Now as of today, I am feeling cheated, insulted and neglected. I crushed my egos and came back to you again and again, but you never cared.  I dont know whether today was my last attempt to carry on the relationship, but the response I got has killed something inside me. Life will never be same again.
Anyways. Happy B’day. Have a blast (you already blasted me )

June16, 2008. 2:20 pm

Its been exactly one year since I left Roorkee. Life has changed a lot since then..

Just now I woke up. Had a real bad dream. I wonder if the ghosts of my past would haunt me forever? Is there any real way to wipe out my complete past from my head? I always knew my actions will cost me alot, but I think now I have paid for them, more than I can afford.
Rest, as always, I have my faith in God,
Life is Beautiful (still).